Sister of Southsea nurse who died by suicide after becoming addicted to cocaine urges people to talk about substance abuse

The sister of a nurse who used cocaine as a "cushion" for her grief and "stressful" shifts before her suicide says a painful letter revealed the truth of her addiction.

Jennifer "Jenn" Porter, who died at 33 years old, spent years battling cocaine misuse and mental health struggles while continuing to build a successful career in healthcare.

But her family didn't think of Jenn, from Southsea, as an addict and just thought she liked a "bender".

Her sister, Josie Porter, 32, found out later from her sister's diaries Jenn had been hooked on cocaine - and it had taken a toll on her mental health.

Now Josie has spoken out to raise awareness for the signs of high-functioning addiction.

Josie, a dietitian, from east London, said: "It genuinely looked like things were improving. She’d bought a new phone, had deliveries on the way and concerts booked. That’s why it was such a shock - I just didn't expect it. Looking back now, there were things I missed.

"She took her life in the moment - I know that - because even though she has tried to do it before, she has always regretted it."

Jenn started taking cocaine when they lost their grandfather in May 2015.

Josie said: "He was our main person growing up. My dad wasn’t really around and when grandad died it hit Jenn really hard.

"Around the same time she met someone who was selling cocaine and suddenly she had easy access to it. It was the perfect storm. She was grieving and she found something that helped her cope and made her feel better, even if only temporarily."

But despite her spiralling addiction, she qualified as a nurse and later worked in respiratory care, helping patients through the Covid-19 pandemic while dealing with demanding shifts and staff shortages.

She said: "She was incredibly dedicated to her work and would never go in when she had been on drugs. She worked nights, dealt with understaffing and carried a huge amount of responsibility. There is a lot of pressure in that work and I think the drugs become a cushion. She wasn’t the sort of person people imagine when they think of someone struggling with addiction."

Behind the scenes, however, her mental health was deteriorating. In 2019, Jenn made a serious attempt to take her own life.

She received support from crisis teams and was prescribed antidepressants, but continued to battle depression, grief for her grandad, and addiction.

The family said Jenn had a tendency to disappear for days at a time - but they didn't realise this was a sign of her addiction.

She said: "We’d go out as a group and she’d disappear for days at a time. It became a red flag, but we didn’t think she was addicted - we just were thinking she must like a bender. I never thought my sister would be an addict."

At the time, the family struggled to connect the behaviour with cocaine misuse because Jenn did not fit their expectations of what addiction looked like.

She said: "When people think of addiction, they often picture someone who has lost everything - no job, no family. You don’t imagine a successful nurse with a career and a home."

When Jenn died by suicide in June 2025, it came as a shock to the family - as she seemed to be happier in the months before her death.

She was paying off her debts, making plans for the future and booking events. Josie now believes that apparent improvements can sometimes mask ongoing struggles.

She said: "Sometimes when people seem better, that’s actually when they need the most support. They convince themselves they’re okay, their guard goes down, and then they relapse and the cycle starts again."

The impacts of Jenn's drug use were revealed to Josie reading letters from her sister.

She said: "I used to think of cocaine addiction as a physical thing, something you'd see in someone. I knew it affected you mentally but I didn’t realise how much it could actually does affect your brain. After Jenn died, we found letters and diary entries that showed how paranoid and suicidal she had become. It completely changed my understanding of what addiction can do to someone."

Looking back, Josie believes families should be aware of changes in behaviour, unexplained absences, financial difficulties and relationship problems. But she also stresses that addiction is not always obvious.

She said: "Sometimes there are no signs at all. The important thing is creating space for people to talk without judgment. People struggling with addiction often feel shame, guilt and helplessness. They need support, not criticism."

Jenn’s family, including Josie, Jenn’s partner, her mother, father, sister, aunt, uncle, half-sister, and eight of Jenn’s friends, attended her inquest.

A verdict of suicide was recorded.

Josie hopes sharing Jenn’s story will help challenge stereotypes around addiction and encourage more open conversations about substance misuse and mental health.

She said: "Jenn was an incredible nurse who spent her life helping other people. We’ve lost someone truly special. If talking about what happened helps even one family recognise the signs or encourages one person to ask for help, then it’s worth telling her story. I would hate for someone to lose their Jenn."

If you've been affected and bereaved by suicide, Cruse is a dedicated service providing free and confidential support across Portsmouth, Southampton, Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. Call 0330 555 0129, or visit supportaftersuicideship.org.uk

If you need urgent help with your mental health, there is free support available 24/7 from:

• Samaritans - call 116 123

• Shout - text HANTS to 85258

• NHS - call 111 and select the mental health option, or in an emergency, call 999