FAITH IN THE COMMUNITY: Becoming a clergyman was an emotional occasion

by the Rev Stuart McKerracher, curate, Portsmouth Cathedral

The Rev Stuart McKerracher is ordained by the Bishop of Portsmouth, the Rt Rev Jonathan Frost, in Portsmouth Cathedral | Diocese of Portsmouth

placeholder image — The Rev Stuart McKerracher is ordained by the Bishop of Portsmouth, the Rt Rev Jonathan Frost, in Portsmouth Cathedral | Diocese of Portsmouth

IT'S been two weeks now since my ordination, an event that was anything but ordinary. It was the moment when the bishop officially made me a clergy person - I can now call myself ’the Reverend’ and wear a dog collar.

I had been gearing myself towards this point for over seven years, an adventure that had taken me all around the country: from North Wales to the Norfolk fens, to theological college in West Yorkshire, and now to Portsmouth, where I’ll be based at the cathedral.

The Rev Stuart McKerracher breaks down in tears as the bishop symbolically washes his feet - to remind him of the humility he should practise as a new clergy person | Diocese of Portsmouth

I was too preoccupied with moving house to feel anything at all in the weeks approaching the service, but by the day itself, I finally felt a sense of excitement.

For the first part of the service, when we made our public affirmations, I was feeling fairly confident, buoyed up by the high spirits of the occasion. But this was nothing compared to what was to come.

When the bishop laid his hands on my head and prayed for God to send down the Holy Spirit, I was expecting some sort of a sensation. However, what I actually felt was far more intense.

My knees started to shake, my legs felt weak, and I had a sharp twinge in my lower back, like it was threatening to give way and collapse. It was as if a huge weight had been suddenly lowered onto my shoulders, and I genuinely struggled to remain standing.

(left to right): Newly-ordained clergy the Rev Stuart McKerracher, the Rev Lyndsey Crowhurst and the Rev Lizzie Sykes-Little with Bishop Jonathan Frost, outside Portsmouth Cathedral | Diocese of Portsmouth

Thankfully we got to sit down soon after, and the bishop came to each of us to wash our feet, a sign of our service to others but also a reminder to let ourselves receive the ministry of others.

I didn’t expect to experience another great surge of feeling, but it happened again. This time it was in my heart, an overwhelming sense of warmth and love that radiated through my entire being and caused me to break down in tears.

Any emptiness from the days beforehand was completely filled, beyond anything I could have hoped. I had never felt anything like it before: a feeling greater than happiness, deeper even than joy, with the memory of all the negative thoughts that I had ever had simply melting away.

There’s a line in the Bible where God promises to give the faithful a new heart and a new spirit, replacing their heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

Before my ordination, I thought this was just a poetic turn of phrase. But now I’ve experienced it as a lived reality. Even after two weeks, the feeling hasn’t gone away, and I hope it’s something that will stay with me all the days of my life and ministry.

PORTSMOUTH CATHEDRAL, High Street, Old Portsmouth, PO1 2HA