Alun Newman column: Going to a show, just not the one my wife hoped for

I explained that on Saturday we were going to a show and, as it involved a bit of driving, we would be leaving late morning.

I’m totally useless at organising things. I’m better than I was - I'm useless rather than infuriating.

I have an amazing ability to drift, to see what’s happening on the day, a day-dreamer’s approach. However, this can lead to tension and, on occasion, a frustrating lack of planning and dynamism, so I’m told.

I’ve matured over the years and, on that basis, I had organised tickets for a show!

Sonia was excited that I had made a decision that required us to do something different, and the praise was warmly received.

On reflection, I should have given more detail especially when it came to the dress code, which was at the far left of informal. On the morning of the show, I was asked where we were going and what it was.

This was an error.

I had not given any details and had made out that it would be fun and that she should trust me. I had inadvertently caused a simmer of excitement and expectation which, on reflection, I regret.

I regret it because there was a distinct feeling of disappointment in the car when Sonia realised that the show was the Home Building and Renovation Show at Farnborough.

I was particularly excited about a demonstration on partition walls and energy efficiency. This was not the show Sonia had been holding in her mind, and it was obvious we had a Mars and Venus situation.

Things deteriorated as I spent far too long at the aluminium doors stand, then again at “digitise your home”, and there were near tears when we watched a man demonstrating drill bits that, for reasons no one could fathom, never get too hot.

He demonstrated this with his tongue. It was a magical time but one I think I should have thought more about the ‘sell’ rather than the content.

The issue for me is quite simple. I have now watched too many episodes of Grand Designs, Love It or List It, and George Clarke’s Ugly House to Lovely House, I feel that I want in on the chaos. I need a new housing adventure.

I have the legal minimum of DIY skills, but I’ve got passion and that’s enough (it’s really not. In fact, that’s an accident waiting to happen).

I have this thought that if I don’t mix it up now, I’ll never know what it’s like to have rain delay everything, a budget that finishes higher than expected, or two years in a caravan when it was meant to be four months. Not everyone is convinced.

The pressure inside is ‘building’ and it’s the kind of pressure that comes with big glass doors and a kitchen island.