'I felt very alone': Waterlooville mum organises drug awareness event following tragic death of son

On May 18, 2018, Hilary Mills got the call every parent dreads - her eldest son, Ben, was in Queen Alexandra hospital after having a cardiac arrest following an accidental heroin overdose. The 27-year-old had been struggling with forms of addiction since his teen years but in the months leading up to his death, he began getting his life back on track.

Six years after his death and Hilary is fiercely advocating for change in a bid to support people struggling with addiction. Alongside Anyone's Child, which is a campaign to transform drug policy, Hilary has organised a drug awareness event this month in a bid to stop the stigma surrounding addiction. Hilary said: “My son was 27 when he passed - I think to begin with he had ADHD which, back then, wasn’t talked about or recognised, so that was quite severe and he had dyslexia and struggled in school and that affected his confidence and he was always looking to fit in. 

“His father also struggled with drug addiction so I don’t think that helped because he was one of his role models.”

Hilary said that he started drinking as a teenager and he then started experimenting with drugs and it quickly became a ‘merry go round’.

She said: “It started off with alcohol and then he started getting in trouble. He was in prison three times, all for things that are drug related. 

“I think a lot of it was down to lack of confidence. The more he got into it, the worse he got, it was like a merry go round.”

Ben spent time living on the streets and in hostels before finding accommodation in the city which is where he began his recovery - but the death of his dad hit him hard.

Hilary said: “He wasn’t in the recovery well enough to deal with trauma. The problem with addict is that they think that taking drugs is the answer and he hadn’t been in recovery long - he hadn’t been using for three weeks.

“He was probably scared - he was taken to QA and he did survive for three weeks but the brain damage was too bad.

“It was an accidental overdose and I really do believe that and I do believe he was really trying at the time which makes it worse.”

Ben was the eldest of Hilary’s four children and since his death, she has been trying to raise awareness to support addicts and their families.

The event, which will take place on September 27, will welcome a range of charities and support groups to the Waterlooville Community Centre for an open discussion. The idea behind the event is to create a safe space where people struggling with addiction can ask questions, listen and find out how to access support. The session is also aimed at families struggling and it will take place between 12 noon and 3pm. It is a ticketed event, but if the cost is a concern, there are a few complimentary spaces - contact [email protected] for more information. Hilary said: “I think we have made great strides since then but it needs to be pushed more because the real criminals are the people selling the drugs, in my opinion. 

“I didn’t know who to talk to, everyone had an opinion. I felt very judged and alone.”

For more information about the event, click here.