Hampshire woman 'ghosted' by friends following cancer diagnosis - and she's not the only one
“I’ve had quite a few people withdraw from me since my diagnosis, and I’ve lost some really close friendships.”
People who are diagnosed with cancer are being ghosted by their loved ones - at a time when they need them the most.
That is the message from Mamillan Cancer Support, which has noticed a trend in people “going quiet” when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer.
Polling conducted by YouGov on behalf of the charity on 2,100 UK adults suggests that a quarter (26%) have found it hard to communicate with someone they know who has cancer.
This includes struggling to know what to say, avoiding the subject of the person’s cancer, seeing or speaking to them less, or in some cases even completely losing touch altogether, the charity said.
Mev Ghazanfar, a HR business partner, was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2018. The cancer has spread to other parts of her body and is now considered incurable.
“I’ve had quite a few people withdraw from me since my diagnosis, and I’ve lost some really close friendships because of it,” the 38-year-old from Hampshire said.
“In the beginning, I found that incredibly difficult. I was hurt, confused and didn’t understand why somebody who had been so important to me could suddenly step away when I was going through something so huge.
“But over time, I’ve come to realise that their decision to withdraw wasn’t necessarily about me. I don’t know what was going on for them or why they couldn’t be there, but ultimately, I had to concentrate on myself.
“I was fighting to survive, and I still am.”
As part of its Fair Cancer Care campaign, Macmillan is urging people to stay in touch with their loved ones instead of “cancer ghosting” - something they say is more common that you might think.
Sian Robinson-Brown, service knowledge specialist on Macmillan’s Support Line, said: “Finding the right words to talk about cancer isn’t easy. But showing you care really matters.
“Cancer is one of the most challenging things many people will go through, and it shouldn’t be made harder by people feeling they have to face it alone.
“There isn’t one perfect thing to say. What matters most is listening with empathy, taking the lead from the person with cancer and showing up consistently, even when conversations feel difficult.”