Which 'soft skills' do parents think are most important - and how to tell if your child has them
An education expert says knowledge may open doors, but ‘soft skills’ carry your child through 💪
- A new survey has quizzed parents on what they think the most important ‘soft skills’ are for their child’s future
- It comes after two in three employers said these abilities were more important than qualifications in hiring
- Out of a set of key skills, parents valued emotional intelligence the most and teamwork the least
- There are signs you can look out for to figure out which soft skills your child excels in
Being able to collaborate with others, understand how they might be feeling, and puzzle out complicated tasks are all incredibly valuable skills for students - ones that will serve them well into their career.
‘Soft skills’ are non-specific personal traits and abilities that help people relate to others and perform well across jobs, and research suggests they’re becoming increasingly valued by employers. A 2024 survey by job-finding platform Indeed found that more than two thirds of modern employers said soft skills were more important than qualifications when it came to hiring.
Parents often play a key role in helping their children develop these skills, which is why education consultancy Dukes Plus has surveyed parents of Year 12 and 13 students attending Dukes Education schools, to find out which ones they value most – and which they believe will have the biggest impact on their child’s future.
Here’s what they thought, as well as why exactly soft skills are so important:
Which soft skills do parents say are the most important - and how do I know if my child has them?
In the polling by Dukes Plus, parents named emotional intelligence as their most valued soft skill - with nearly one in four (24%) voting for it. This represents a student’s self-awareness, ability to regulate their emotions, as well as their empathy and social skills.
According to the consultancy, signs your child has high emotional intelligence include being able to name their emotions, expressing them appropriately, and recognising non-verbal cues from others. Signs they struggle with their emotional intelligence can include having emotional outbursts, not understanding other perspectives, or creating misunderstanding by not communicating effectively.
In a close second was problem-solving skills, with 23% of parents voting for it. Problem-solving skills include being able to identify problems, think critically about them, and create solutions.
Signs your child has strong problem-solving skills can include trying something new after their first attempt fails, asking questions to better understand assignments or challenges, and thinking carefully about how to respond. Signs their skills could use more work include getting quickly frustrated by problems, avoiding unfamiliar or challenging tasks, and using the same strategy again and again to try and solve a problem.
Communication skills came in third, voted for by about one in five parents (18%). This is a young person’s ability to listen actively, share information with others, and tailor what they’re saying so different audiences can understand it.
Dukes Plus says signs your child has strong communication skills include maintaining eye contact, listening when others speak, and understanding when to talk in a conversation. Signs they may lack these skills, on the other hand, can include interrupting, avoiding in-person conversations, and even misinterpreting the tone.
Next was adaptability and flexibility, with some 15% of parents voting for it. This is how well a child can adapt to new situations or changes in plans, as well as how open they are to new ideas, and how resilient they are in the face of challenges.
Signs your child is adaptable can include enjoying new situations and experiences, easily adjusting if plans change, and working well with new people. But signs they could use a little more support can include giving up quickly when challenges arise, clinging to familiar situations, and having difficulty accepting constructive criticism.
Leadership skills were second to last, voted for by 11% of parents. These include the ability to inspire, manage and guide others, to make decisions, and to take responsibility.
If your child has strong leadership skills, they’ll likely find it easy to support and encourage others in a group setting, as well as providing clear directions and making fair decisions. If these skills need a little more work, your child might struggle to commit to their choices, be dismissive of others opinions, or make excuses for mistakes.
Finally, teamwork and collaboration came in sixth, with fewer than one in 10 (9%) of parents voting for it. This skill set includes how well a young person works within a team, understands group dynamics, and contributes to the group.
Signs your child might excel at teamwork include them listening to others’ ideas and giving feedback, offering ideas and opinions confidently, and being able to work towards shared goals. Signs they might struggle with teamwork a bit more can include struggling to speak up, being unwilling to compromise, or dominating – or even not engaging – in team conversations or tasks.
Why are soft skills so important?
Dukes Plus director Ricky Tavares, said that developing soft skills can help prepare children for all aspects of life, from excelling in their careers to forming healthy relationships. “Knowledge opens doors, but soft skills carry them through. These are the traits shaping our children’s futures.”
Strong emotional intelligence – the skill most favoured by parents – can help young people identify, understand, and manage their own emotions, as well as respond appropriately to others, he continued. “The conversation around mental health and its importance is much more prominent now than it was for previous generations. Many parents are now aware of the far-reaching effect of high emotional intelligence and understand it’s a solid foundation for healthy wellbeing, mature relationships, and job satisfaction.”
But the less-favoured of the soft skills were important too. Mr Tavares said that only about one in 10 parents valuing teamwork had come as a surprise to him.
“Teamwork and collaboration are relevant to and helpful in various situations, including social, school and future work environments,” he added. “It might be that parents are solely focused on the skills that directly influence their child’s individual performance and personal growth rather than shared achievements. However, children can learn a lot from teamwork.”
Dukes Plus has also created a free ‘Soft Skills Quiz’ to help students identify which of these six core skills they could benefit from improving - before they return to class for the new school year. You can try it for yourself online here.