Dear England makes a football fan out of our reviewer at Chichester Festival Theatre
During my formative years, my family tried to mould me into a Pompey fan.
But the trips to Fratton Park dried up when they realised I was more interested in the colouring book my mum had packed for me and cried every time the crowd roared.
The reason I begin with this disclaimer is to make clear I am not a football fan.
So it is with a healthy amount of surprise that I say Dear England is the best thing I’ve seen at the Festival Theatre all year.
This show dramatising Gareth Southgate’s tenure as England manager rides in from the West End on a wave of Olivier Awards and rave reviews, among the most glowing being from The Telegraph, whose critic described it as ‘the decade’s biggest theatrical triumph’.
I was sceptical before the lights went down – could this really make me connect with football in a way my family tried and failed to do?
But the reality is it’s about so much more than just our national sport. It’s about who we are as a nation. James Graham is the man behind Dear England, named after the letter Gareth Southgate wrote to fans during the Covid-19 pandemic.
This dramaturgical Rumpelstiltskin has a pedigree for spinning unlikely subject matter into gold, including the life of televangelist Tammy Faye Messner and Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’s coughing scandal – the latter of which made its world debut next door at The Minerva.
And he smashes it out of the park (or should I say, the back of the net) with this one.
From the moment of Southgate’s appointment, we’re taken on a rollercoaster ride through the highs of breaking the penalty curse at the Russia World Cup in 2018 to the lows of the racist abuse players suffered when the team lost the 2020 Euros final, peppered with a carnival of colourful characters representing the public, press and Prime Ministers.
(As an aside – Theresa May taking a penalty was not on my bingo card.)
Whether it’s joy or fear, banter or frustration, determination or shame, the energy fizzes off the stage from this stellar cast.
As Southgate himself, David Sturzaker is thoroughly endearing; warm, earnest without being supercilious, and charmingly goofy at times.
And EastEnders’ Samantha Womack is spot on as psychologist Pippa Grange, the guiding hand of the new regime.
Interactive staging dazzled and football songs got people clapping along, bringing us to only one natural conclusion: a rousing rendition of Sweet Caroline which was swiftly followed by a standing ovation – myself included.
In one of his early locker room scenes, Southgate tells a slightly bewildered team they aren’t just football players; they are storytellers, telling a new tale that will breathe life into the country they represent.
While we haven’t reached the fairytale ending yet in real life, there’s plenty of magic to be found in this beautiful rendition of the beautiful game.
And maybe, just maybe, I might paint a St George’s flag on my cheek at the next World Cup – even if the offside rule remains a mystery to me.
Until November 29.