Fareham businessman pens guide to fight feelings of isolation during the summer
Local businessman, Mark Hirst of Hub Care Support Fareham, pens guide to support the vulnerable and elderly in fighting feelings of isolation during the summer.
Humans crave social interactions – it is in our DNA – however, at some point in all our lives we experience emotions of loneliness and isolation. There’s no shame in feeling that way, which is why it is important to raise awareness and provide ways we can help our family and friends.
Here, Mark Hirst, who runs local in-home introduction service Hub Care Support Fareham alongside his wife Karen, discusses what loneliness is and how it is something to discuss all-year round – dispelling the myth that loneliness in the elderly peaks during the colder months – and he gives his top tips on how to reach out to anyone who may be feeling isolated this summer..
So, what is loneliness?
Firstly, it is important to establish that everyone’s experience of loneliness is different. Some ways we can experience loneliness are:
· Emotional loneliness – a lack of emotional attachment to someone like a close friend or partner.
· Social loneliness – a lack of friends to go out with, or who share your hobbies and interests.
· Existential loneliness – a sense of being in a room of people you know and still feeling alone1.
These feelings can occur frequently, occasionally or sporadically, or sometimes we believe people are more likely to feel isolated at certain times of the week or year.
How to spot loneliness
Loneliness is a uniquely personal emotion meaning it can often be hard to spot in friends or loved ones; however, that is not to say it is impossible.
Spotting loneliness can be easier if you know what to look for. Big events, such as moving to a new city or losing a loved one, can often lead to feelings of loneliness or isolation. Emotionally, someone might seem sad, unmotivated, or talk about feeling isolated. They might say they feel misunderstood or hopeless, even when they’re with others.
Behaviourally, people who are feeling lonely can withdraw from social activities and avoid gatherings. You might notice they’re less communicative, have changes in sleep or eating habits, or rely on social media for interaction – these shifts can signal that they’re feeling disconnected.
How to talk about it and what to do next
Talking about loneliness can feel daunting too. We often avoid tough conversations out of fear of embarrassing ourselves or hurting the ones we love – this can, unfortunately, unintentionally stigmatise loneliness further. So, how can we talk about it?
Loneliness can be termed as an ‘epidemic’ or something you can ‘catch’. However, this is not the case. If we avoid framing loneliness in a negative light and openly discuss that there is nothing wrong or shameful about feeling isolated, we can begin to destigmatise our perceptions.
For example, instead of using the word ‘suffering’, we can use ‘experiencing’ or take a soft approach where instead of directly confronting them about whether they are lonely, we ask if they would feel better seeing more people – it might then open doors to conversations about how they feel. Think about loneliness as a natural human emotion to remove the taboos of talking about it, helping to normalise our language.
Checking in or reaching out to someone you think is experiencing feelings of loneliness, encourage people to consider the importance of random acts of connection – even those small connections like a simple hello or please and thank you can make a big difference.
When does loneliness occur?
Loneliness knows no season. We tend to think that it is an emotion that is more common over winter, especially around Christmas, but it is a feeling we face all year round. A recent study highlighted that 85% of UK adults had experienced loneliness in the last 12 months – irrespective of it being June or January3.
We should start thinking about loneliness over the course of the year. If we quickly reflect on potential factors that could cause someone to feel isolated over the summer, we can name two or three straight away.
Thinking about clients who have used our introductory service at Hub Care Support Fareham, they may experience loneliness during the summer for several different reasons. With families away on their holidays, elderly people might have fewer visitors and therefore less social interaction throughout July and August. Community centres and social groups may also slow down or close, limiting their chances to get out and socialise. The weather too can have an impact – the heat can sometimes make it harder to go outside safely. We can all remember a time in the recent past when we were stuck inside and the detrimental effect it had on our mental health.
Top tips to support the elderly and vulnerable
We’ve established what loneliness is, how to spot it and how to talk about it, so here are my five top tips to help us support the elderly and vulnerable who may experience loneliness:
1. Regular check-ins – stay connected through frequent phone calls, text messages or in-person visits. Regularly checking in shows that you care and helps them feel less isolated.
2. Encourage social activities – help them find and participate in community groups, exercise classes or volunteer opportunities. Joining these activities together can boost their social interactions and overall well-being.
3. Leverage technology – use technology to your advantage. It is a little outdated to assume your elderly loved ones aren’t tech savvy, but where you can, be on hand to help. Technology makes it easier to connect, even from a distance.
4. Involve them in activities – share simple activities like cooking, watching TV or going for a walk. These shared experiences provide companionship and help them feel more engaged and valued.
5. Practical support – offer help with everyday tasks like running errands, grocery shopping or household chores. Providing practical support can make a big difference in their daily lives and show them that they are not alone.